sagawizard (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} sagawizard) wrote,@ 2008-08-11 17:28:00 |
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Saga's encounter with the FBI
File this one under "What the f***?":
So I come home and find a plain white envelope in my mailbox, no address, no stamp. I figure it's either from my landlord or a neighbor, so as I start wondering whom I might have pissed off recently and how, I open it up.
I find a half-sheet of paper with a typed message (grammatically correct, but with some improper use of capitalization) claiming that it is from the FBI, and that it is important they speak with the recipient of this note because they are conducting a background check on someone in the area, and it's a matter of national security. There is a business card attached with a single staple.
I look and I see my neighbors have similar white envelopes in their boxes.
Now, any critically thinking person in this day and age of spam, scam and id theft would of course come to the conclusion that this is bogus. But there are plenty of stupid gullible people out there who might feel moved to do their "civic duty" and hand over to this jokester their bank account numbers or something, so I decided to do MY civic duty and call up the real FBI office in Boston, which of course does NOT have the same phone number as is listed on the card.
I call up and say I have reason to believe someone is impersonating an agent, and so the operator immediately transfers me to an investigator's desk, and I describe the whole thing to them...
...and am told that it is REAL.
That's right, that it's legit.
What...the...???
I actually burst out laughing. I describe to them the condition of the paper, the capitalization errors, and the guy on the other end insists its real.
But no address or postmark? It's "canvassing", I'm told, and it's a "tactic" (I wonder if this "tactic" is designed to save money on postage stamps so the FBI director can afford an ivory-plated desktag).
I say, "Look, it's not that you need advice from me, but if you're going to have people take this seriously, shouldn't you at least print on letterhead or something?", and the guy sighs and says, "Yeah, yeah, I know." Then he asks for my personal data, which I politely refuse to give him, and hang up.
For the hell of it, now, (and to make sure *I'm* not the person being investigated), I call up the number on the card, and speak to the agent. He asks me about my former housemate from 4 years ago, the woman with whom I had a fight with about the laundry that was so annoying that I wound up writing a column about her that got printed in the local paper. I didn't share that story with him.
He asks if I have any information about her activities that would make me suspicious about her having national security clearance, and I honestly answer that I am completely unqualified to address that question. He then asks for my personal data, which I politely refuse to give him, and hang up.
Surreal encounter of the day, I guess.
I always used to find it strained credibility on the X-files that the FBI would employ someone like Fox Mulder, but truth as usual is stranger than FOX shows...
- SW
File this one under "What the f***?":
So I come home and find a plain white envelope in my mailbox, no address, no stamp. I figure it's either from my landlord or a neighbor, so as I start wondering whom I might have pissed off recently and how, I open it up.
I find a half-sheet of paper with a typed message (grammatically correct, but with some improper use of capitalization) claiming that it is from the FBI, and that it is important they speak with the recipient of this note because they are conducting a background check on someone in the area, and it's a matter of national security. There is a business card attached with a single staple.
I look and I see my neighbors have similar white envelopes in their boxes.
Now, any critically thinking person in this day and age of spam, scam and id theft would of course come to the conclusion that this is bogus. But there are plenty of stupid gullible people out there who might feel moved to do their "civic duty" and hand over to this jokester their bank account numbers or something, so I decided to do MY civic duty and call up the real FBI office in Boston, which of course does NOT have the same phone number as is listed on the card.
I call up and say I have reason to believe someone is impersonating an agent, and so the operator immediately transfers me to an investigator's desk, and I describe the whole thing to them...
...and am told that it is REAL.
That's right, that it's legit.
What...the...???
I actually burst out laughing. I describe to them the condition of the paper, the capitalization errors, and the guy on the other end insists its real.
But no address or postmark? It's "canvassing", I'm told, and it's a "tactic" (I wonder if this "tactic" is designed to save money on postage stamps so the FBI director can afford an ivory-plated desktag).
I say, "Look, it's not that you need advice from me, but if you're going to have people take this seriously, shouldn't you at least print on letterhead or something?", and the guy sighs and says, "Yeah, yeah, I know." Then he asks for my personal data, which I politely refuse to give him, and hang up.
For the hell of it, now, (and to make sure *I'm* not the person being investigated), I call up the number on the card, and speak to the agent. He asks me about my former housemate from 4 years ago, the woman with whom I had a fight with about the laundry that was so annoying that I wound up writing a column about her that got printed in the local paper. I didn't share that story with him.
He asks if I have any information about her activities that would make me suspicious about her having national security clearance, and I honestly answer that I am completely unqualified to address that question. He then asks for my personal data, which I politely refuse to give him, and hang up.
Surreal encounter of the day, I guess.
I always used to find it strained credibility on the X-files that the FBI would employ someone like Fox Mulder, but truth as usual is stranger than FOX shows...
- SW
